"Null" - hidie

"Null"

Apr 25, 2023#null414

AI Translation

This post is translated from Chinese into English through AI.View Original

AI-generated summary

It has been over an hour, but the person is still feeling a fast heartbeat and confusion, unsure of what they are doing or what they should do. They hesitate to send a message on the screen and express their longing for someone. When they finally make a phone call, they feel blank and stutter, but still want to speak their mind. The conversation is disjointed, talking about their past in high school and how much they miss the other person. The phone call ends abruptly, leaving the person feeling hot and unable to remember what was said. They feel sudden and unsure of what to say next. The person's mind is blank and their face is flushed. They go downstairs and have some alcohol, not being able to explain the situation to others. They return to their room and write about the moment. They feel like going outside to feel the cold wind or get drenched in the rain. They are not drunk but feel dizzy. They end the writing and go to sleep.

It has been over an hour, but my heart is still racing, and my mind is in chaos, not knowing what I'm doing or what I should do.

I remember how my fingers hesitated to press send on the screen.

[Crack] I miss you so much! Let me start with what I wanted to say.

As soon as the WeChat call connected, my mind went blank.
I stuttered while speaking, but I really wanted to get the words out.

The content was all over the place, talking about our high school memories and how much I miss her. (I thought I could explain it to her, make her understand why I've been thinking about her these past few days, just like I imagined.)

During the call,
From the beginning with the music playing, I couldn't hear what you were saying, and then it gradually became quiet.

. means the end of the conversation.
I can't remember anymore.
Then why did you call?
Why is my face so hot?

After finishing my words, she felt it was sudden and didn't know what to say.

My mind was blank, and my face was burning.

I went downstairs to a friend's place and had half a bowl of white wine.

They asked me what was going on, and I just shook my head and nodded.

Back in my room, I recorded this moment.

I wanted to go outside and feel the cold wind.
I wanted to go out and get drenched in heavy rain.

I'm allergic to alcohol.
But I'm very sober, just a little shaky when typing.

Not drunk.
But feeling dizzy.

Written on 2023-4-25 22:52:02.
Put down the phone, turn off the lights, and go to sleep.